Hi, Remember Me? I’m The Victim

Dear Support System (Parents, teachers, preachers, mentors, employers, legal system, etc.)

Hi.  Remember me.  I’m the victim.

I’m the one that you found it so easy to ignore whenever I came to you for help!

I’m the little boy or girl that was beat up constantly when I was in school.  However, when I came home, instead of helping me by going to the school and dealing with the principal, teacher, or the bully’s parents, you blamed me for being so weak to be beat up daily.

I’m the one who you blamed for being hurt by wrong-doers.  You found it so easy to blame me.  You said that I ‘must have done something’ to bring bad behavior on myself.  I found no help – only blame – in you.

When you decided to mediate between me and the thorn in my side, I told you the truth, but they told you what you wanted to hear.  They brutalized me in private.  You brutalized me when I came to you for help.  I was hit emotional, mentally, verbally, financially, sexually, and physically by them.  I found the courage to come to you to speak up.  Guess what?  You blamed me for speaking up.  You thought that I was just complaining about a poor, innocent person who needed help.  You never saw that I was the one who needed help.  You never saw me!

Did you know that after you took shots at me for speaking up, those bullies took shots at me for having the nerve to tell on them?  Do you know what you taught me?  You taught me that I DIDN’T have an advocate.  You taught me that I didn’t have anyone to turn to.  You taught me that I didn’t matter.

I’m the one you blamed when I finally stood up for myself.  I was the student in school that got tired of being pushed around.  When I realized that you, the instructors, failed at being protectors (even though you didn’t want us to fight) I was left with no recourse but to defend myself.  However, when I did, you chastised me for fighting.  But I wouldn’t have had to fight if I could depend on you.

You see, I did everything that you told me to do.  I ignored them.  I walked away.  I sat quiet and humiliated when they hurled insults and such nasty words.  You heard some of these words; but you did NOTHING.  However, when I stood up for myself, you wanted to call my parents for fighting while lecturing me about being physical at school.

Wow!

I’m the one who sat back and listened to you make excuses for bullies and abusers.  You told me to ‘understand them’, ‘be the example to them’, ‘understand where they were coming from’, ‘help them’ etc.  However, I used to wonder why didn’t you (and them) take the time to ‘understand me’, ‘be an example for me’, ‘and understand where I was coming from’.

I’m the one who you kicked out of activities, for no reason, because you saw me as the bad guy, while exalting my bully/abuser to great heights. 

I’m the one who lost my voice because you help to take it.  You blamed me for speaking up, you blamed me for what they did to me, and you blamed me for being hurt, and you blamed me for trying to get help.  You blamed me.

I was the one on the job who the supervisors loved to pick on.  When I came to you, you downplayed their wrong.  However, whenever they came to you about me, you took their word as law.  Yet you spoke of having an open-door policy.

I’m the one that you called sensitive, emotional, disrespectful, a complainer, and the problem.

I’m the one who told you that I wanted to be validated for my issues and you said, ‘then what’.

I’m the one who you treated as being ‘the problem’ because I wanted good relationships, I wanted to stop being target practice.  I the one who you treated as being selfish for wanting to be treated right.

You see, all I wanted was what you told me to be for others.

Hi.  Remember me.  I USED TO BE THE VICTIM.

I remember kneeling before God for Him to wipe my tears.  I remember Him treating me as if I was His dear child – because I was.

Hi.  Remember me.  I USED TO BE THE VICTIM.

We can help you find your strength

I realized that it wasn’t my fault that bullies were bullies and abusers were abusers.  I realized that they were hurt at some point in their lives and was acting out that hurt:

BUT, If I had to climb the mountain to conquer my wrongs, so did they.

I realized that once upon a time that I wasn’t the only one that was scared of bullies and abusers.  I realized that you were, too.

I realized that if you could blame the victim, you may have been a victim once yourself.  I realized that if you were telling me to pacify wrong-doers, chances are you were still doing the same thing in your own personal life.

I realized that by blaming me for their actions, you were still trying to win their support in your own lives.

I realized that I was not wrong for the actions of bullies and abusers, but you were also the coward.  You were in place the of teacher, boss, friend, parent, preacher, mediator, but you didn’t have the courage to defend those who needed you.

Hi.  Remember me.  I USED TO BE THE VICTIM.

I’m the one who still scratches my head because you can’t seem to understand why I don’t want to open up to you anymore.  Why is that hard to understand?

Well, let me break it down for you:

If you keep breaking down people who are already broken,

If you keep blaming people who take so much blame at home, work, church, school, wherever,

If you keep telling people to build up their wrong-doers when they can barely lift their own selves up,

If you keep treating those in need like they are the problem, then NEWSFLASH:

Duh!

They are not going to keep opening up to you.

If they are already taking hits in private, why would they continue to take hits from a so-called ‘help’.

You seem to ignore all the obvious evidence in favor of the bully/abusers, why would people continue to open up to you?

Hi.  Remember me.  I USED TO BE THE VICTIM.

I realized that if others were ‘worthy’ of good treatment then SO WAS I.

I realized that I’m not an options but a person.

God loves me.

I matter.

I may not matter to you, but I matter to Him.

I may not have matter to those old educators, but I matter to Him.

I may have not matter so much to certain family members, but I matter to Him.

Hi.  Remember me.  I USED TO BE THE VICTIM.

Now, it’s my aim to speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves.  I don’t know where this road will take me;

However, if I can teach support systems to be a support to those who need it – NOT only to your favorites

We’re here to help!https://www.online-therapy.com/?ref=134289

If I can teach others that you’re not alone

If I can help those who are in need get help and come to the KING – the one who helped me.

If I can help others to be free, then it will all be worth it.

Let us help you reach your point of healing.

Hi.  Remember me.  I’M NOT THE VICTIM ANYMORE.

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