Domestic Violence Tip: Are You Dating An Abuser? – Tip 3

Resentment – Part 2 – Inability to handle frustration.

Domestic violence, sadly, will continue to be around for a while.

Another warning sign of domestic violence is this:

If  he/she blows up and explodes at small things, and reacts with a tantrum over minor things, he may act out frustration with violence in a marriage. How he deals with anger is the key.

Some people may not necessarily ‘blow up' and explode.  Some people will sulk, pout, play the blame game, and/or make casual cruel underhanded remarks toward their love-interest.  You see, because the ‘abuser' is unable to handle their frustration, they act out in any way necessary.  It may not always be outward explosions.  Sometimes it's subtle jabs.

Remember, if you fall in love with a resentful person, you will eventually become the brunt of that resentment and almost certainly feel shut out and diminished in the relationship.  

NOTE:

Please be sure to pay attention to the warning signs of domestic violence.  Don't think that YOU CAN HELP CHANGE THEM!  A person has to want to change.

Another point is that many abusers are victims of domestic violence themselves.  If you are a victim of domestic violence, please don't believe that a relationship will save you from your past.  Don't believe that just because they don't hit you, it's not abuse. It is.  Get help for you!

Please call The National Center of Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.  Or visit their website thehotline.org.

adapted from 12 Signs to Tell if Your Partner May Turn into An Abuser

http://www.domesticviolenceinfo.ca/article/12-signs-to-tell-if-your-partner-may-turn-into-an-abuser-260.asp

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14 Comments

  1. This is a wonderful site. It is so important to get this information out to the public. I have been here. The damage is for a lifetime. If you can reach 1 out of 5 guys or gals you have helped to change the world.
    Thank You
    Laura

  2. I am a survivor of DV by ex-husband and when I say EX I mean EX
    Nobody should stay in a bad relationship
    It is better to be alone and safe at all times and even moreso if you have children as they need protecting so they grow up happy and secure
    Good post

  3. I have to say that I cannot stand anyone who abuses and it’s not just the guys who do it. I was emotionally abused and it was not a great experience. But for me, it’s like I never saw it coming. I was very naive I guess. And I truly believe that you cannot change anyone except yourself so if you find yourself in this situation….RUN! Get away and get help especially if you’re a woman where a guy gets physical.

    • I KNOW!!!!!!

      I’m gonna do an article that deals with abuse and men. Ladies aren’t the only ones that are abused. Abusers are very manipulative. The abused for the most part won’t see it coming. You’re right. The only person you can change is you. Run! Get free.

  4. Great article and I love the purpose of this site. I had a family member that was the victim of domestic violence. They thought they could change the person, but the spouse didn’t want to change. They are now divorced, thank goodness! Articles like yours need to be written and read.
    Thank you,
    Dan

    • Thank you, Dan. Not only do people think that they can change a person, they are taught that they can change the individual. I hate that. I’m glad your relative is free.

  5. Wow, an important article you’ve created here. Resentment is never nice in any form, but especially within a couple. What are the best ways to help people control this anger?

    • Thanks for the question:

      1. First a person has to acknowledge that they have an issue.
      2. Find someone that they can trust to talk about the issues that frustrate them. Finding a person that tells them to suppress it is not a help.
      3. Acknowledge that the issues that formed resentment did happen.

      4. Recognize triggers that will cause an individual to go into anger and learn to combat them.

      5. Work steadily and consistently to learn to let the resentment go. Understand that it will not happen overnight, but it will happen.
      6. Get help. Get the necessary help that a person needs to be able to have healthy emotions and mentality.

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