DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TIP: Are You Dating An Abuser

Very Early Warning Sign #2: Resentment

Resentment is a negative mood caused by focus on perceptions of unfairness. Resentful people feel like they are not getting the help, consideration, praise, reward, or affection they believe is due them.

Everyone has to put up with a certain amount of unfairness in life. We don't like it, but we deal with it and move on; we try to improve our situations and our experiences. The resentful waste their emotional energy by dwelling on the unfairness of others (while remaining oblivious to their own unfairness). They think (mistakenly) that they don't know how to improve their lives. They use resentment as a defense against a sense of failure or inadequacy.

Resentful people are so caught up in their “rights” and so locked into their own perspectives that they become completely insensitive to the rights and perspectives of others. If you fall in love with a resentful person, you will eventually become the brunt of that resentment and almost certainly feel shut out and diminished in the relationship.

NOTE:

Please be sure to pay attention to the warning signs of domestic violence.  Don't think that YOU CAN HELP CHANGE THEM!  A person has to want to change.

Another point is that many abusers are victims of domestic violence themselves.  If you are a victim of domestic violence, please don't believe that a relationship will save you from your past.  Don't believe that just because they don't hit you, it's not abuse. It is.  Get help for you!

Please call The National Center of Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.  Or visit their website thehotline.org.

taken from Psychology Today –

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200812/are-you-dating-abuser

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2 Comments

  1. Well done on this article and everything you mentioned throughout this site. Domestic violence is still alive and kicking in this day and age and I’m not sure how we’re going to eliminate it. You’ve made some great points. This is a big eye opener, thanks!

    • Thanks for the comments. You’re right. I’m totally not sure how we can eliminate it at all due to all of the abuse that abusers go through themselves. It’s so sad all the way around. If I could use this site, along wit others, to warn people and help who I can help, I hope that will be beneficial.

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