DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TIP: Are You Dating An Abuser

The Blamer – Part 2

Very Early Warning Sign #1: A Blamer

Avoid anyone who blames his negative feelings and bad luck on someone else. Special care is necessary here, as blamers can be really seductive in dating. Their blame of others can make you look great by comparison:

“You’re so smart, sensitive, caring, and loving, not like that woman I used to go out with.”

“Why couldn’t I have met you before that self-centered, greedy, woman I used to date?”

“You’re so calm and together, and she was so crazy and paranoid.”

‘Why would someone like you want someone like me?”

Hearing this kind of thing might make you think that all he really needs is the understanding and love of a good woman to change his luck.

This disastrous assumption flies in the face of the Law of Blame.

The Law of Blame: It eventually goes to the closest person. When you become the closest person to him, the blame will certainly turn on you.

Blamers can be dangerous to love because they usually suffer from victim identity. Feeling like victims, they see themselves as justified in whatever retaliation they enact and whatever compensation they take.

Blamers will certainly cause pain for you if you come to love one.

NOTE:

Please be sure to pay attention to the warning signs of domestic violence.  Don’t think that YOU CAN HELP CHANGE THEM!  A person has to want to change.

Another point is that many abusers are victims of domestic violence themselves.  If you are a victim of domestic violence, please don’t believe that a relationship will save you from your past.  Don’t believe that just because they don’t hit you, it’s not abuse. It is.  Get help for you!

Please call The National Center of Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.  Or visit their website thehotline.org.

 

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