Are You Dating or In Love With An Abuser – Entitlement – Tip 4

Very Early Warning Sign #3: Entitlement

People with a sense of entitlement believe that they deserve special consideration and special treatment. They may cut in front of others waiting in line, smoke wherever they want, drive any way they want, say anything they like, and do pretty much anything they choose.

Driven by high standards of what they should get and what other people should do for them, the entitled feel chronically disappointed and offended.

So it seems only fair, from their myopic perspectives, that they get compensation for their constant frustrations. Special consideration seems like so little to ask!

Here's the logic:

♦”It's so hard being me, I shouldn't have to wait in line, too!”

♦”With all I have to put up with, I deserve to take a few supplies from the office.”

“With the kind of day I had, you expect me to mow the lawn?”

“All the taxes I pay, and they bother me about this little deduction!”

“The way I hit the golf ball, I should get the best seat in the restaurant!”

“I'm the man; you have to cook my dinner!”

After the glow of infatuation wears off, the entitled person will regard his feelings and desire as more important than yours. If you agree, you'll get depressed. If you disagree, you'll get abused – whether verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, physically, financially, digitally, or reproductively (more on that one later).

adapted from Psychology Today –

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  1. Very interesting article. It can be very hard to know what someone is really like at the start of a relationship so it’s important to be able to spot these warning signs early. Thanks for the advice!

    • You’re welcome. They’re so easy to be overlooked because when our feelings go out there for another individual, it can be easy to ignore or make accuses for them. Also, they can easily downplay what they are really like.

      Thanks for your comments.

  2. Damn, I dated one like that in high school.
    It certainly was extremely fun initially, but after a little while the infatuation faded and it got really frustrating to be around her.
    Although I do feel that I managed to make her a better person, it was extremely taxing on my end. I would go as far as to even say that it has been the hardest relationship I’ve ever been in.

    Absolutely love these kinds of tips to get to know and understand people better!
    See you around!
    Cheers and have a Great One!

  3. Hi Lane,
    I’m a teacher and I see this sort of behavior even in boys as young as 14 or 15. Once you love someone, it’s difficult to identify them as an abuser. I’m so glad schools are teaching kids about this nowadays

  4. Hello Lane,
    Interesting article. Relationships are rigorous – they are full of passion, anger, laughter, pain, a tumultuous array of emotions. What (I think) matters through it all, is self-respect. You have to respect yourself as an individual FIRST before forming ANY alliance – platonic, intimate, business, and the list can get longer. It has to start with you – number one – so that when the number changes to ‘two’ (or more) there should be a certain degree of respect left over for the next person(s). Yes, relationships can be challenging, but this is our world…we live with them…and learn.

    • Hi Michelle,

      That’s very true. Sadly, some people go into relationships believing that it’s an end-all. In other words, they were/are so hurt with life, how they were raised, etc., that they feel that a relationship will save them from it. They don’t even know that they are to have respect for themselves. They may not know that they have low-self esteem.

      Once people stop and take inventory of their value, they wouldn’t just accept anything. Great comment.

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